The Moving On!!

OK so i needed some time this past week. Alot of tears were shed. ALOT. I never cried before meeting this girl.. Never and now I'm this huge baby who is always on the verge of tears. This shit sucks and what Ive come to realize is that i'm not the only one who has ever gone through this. Although I feel like I am. I feel like no one understands but tons of you can relate. Maybe not the girl on girl gay shit but losing love. Although the cunt still loves me she just is in need of attention and honestly think its some mid-life I still wanna make sure i can get other people.. Anyways. I'm not really gonna focus on the past and  blog about what we had and what went wrong. Ill tell stories here and there... but to make it more interesting i'm gonna talk about me moving on.. what i'm doing to fix this stupid broken heart. Who I am going out with, where I am going, the texts i get from the ex. I'm going to try to keep it spicy and also work on the page a bit.... So here it goes..
DAY 1
From here on out i have finally accepted it is over.. And yes i am tearing up as I write this. The holidays were hard. She was on the east and I was the sucker who was watching her cat. And the sucker who drove her to the airport.My friends all yelled at me for that... the ride to the airport was the worse because she kept touching me and telling me she loved me and how hard it is to see me cause she just can't keep her hands off me. And thats what sucks when she touches me i feel that bullshit electricity that everyone talks about. Some stupid fucking connection.. Anyways so this was last Thurs. She got out of the car a long hug and she says i love you i know i shouldnt say it but i do I'm in love with you... FUCK her!!! really? then this stupid airborne toxic event song came on. the song that was playing the first time i got into her car. the first song we both agreed we really liked and here a year and a half later it depicts our fucking relationship.. so i hold back the tears drive back to her house feed the cat. Then I just lose it. The stupid memories kept coming back. I sat on the steps and just balled.. he little fluffy cat rubbing up against me as if he was saying " i know i'm sorry shes a selfish cunt but i love you.." then hours later i get the Here! Hope ur having a good day. Xx I dont respond..  then 2 1/2 hours later i get a .. HI! Still I do not respond then 20 mins later.. Am I texting to much?. Its like yes you are leave me and my broken heart alone. Did I tell you her nickname since our round 1 of dating was CAKE.. She lives up to it well.. She wants her cake and to eat it too... Drives me nuts.. OK cut to today 6 days later many tears shed.. I fed her cat played with him for what i hope is the last time. Left the keys and walked out. She has one of her current toys picking her up from the airport so I didnt have to be a sucker again. Just a fool... Just a lonely fool. SO tonight as I have alicia keys try sleeping with a broken heart on repeat. I'm gonna go out try to find me a toy or two or three.. Just things to distract me. Definitely not looking for anything serious.. So ladies if you are reading this you can find me at the Abbey or Haute tonight looking for some play :) I'll be the one with the swollen eyes..